Once Upon a Doujinshi
by Vanishing Roses
Summary: After the latest host club doujinshi bombs due to an error, Renge must quickly come up with a new idea. Being pressed for time, Renge reaches out to an unlikely ally: Nekozawa! Crack pairing: Renge/Nekozawa


**Author's Note:** This fic is actually a little on the older side, but it's new to this side, so everything works out. This was a challenge given to me by a friend. It's abit of a crack pairing, but I had fun with it. :) Enjoy!

**Disclaimer:** Characters not mine, but story sure is, so you can pretty much just blame me.

* * *

**ONCE UPON A DOUJINSHI**

Renge sighed softly as she sat in her office under the music room that the Host Club occupied. The figures from the most recent doujinshi sales were weak at best. She simply could not understand why the product was not selling. The manga circle she had hired assured her that the books would sell. And yet, the figures that Kyoya had written out for her obviously showed the opposite. Something was not right about the situation and Renge was not pleased at all.

Three months ago when Kyoya first approached her about the entire idea behind a second wave of collector doujinshi based on the hosts, Renge wondered if she would be able to create a second run. Moe Moe Host Club had been such a success that Kyoya was pushing a second release as well; though Renge was worried that she would not have time to come up with a thrilling enough story line that could possibly out do her last fantastic doujinshi idea. Despite all that, however, Renge eventually agreed. Though certain hosts might have said something or another about not wanting a doujinshi of him (or her) created, the figures were impressive enough for Kyoya to push the idea, at least secretly. With Renge behind the idea, no host had the power to stop her. Not even Kyoya could stop the self appointed Host Club manager once she had set an idea in motion.

But it seemed that the sales themselves were determined to stop Renge. And so, even after the other members of the host club had gone home early, she remained, reading through stacks of sales figures.

Sighing gently to herself, she stood up slowly, dusting off her dress. Using her high-powered platform, Renge reached the music room above her office. She needed to get to the bottom of the mystery of the low sales. Annoyed, she turned on all of the lights in the clubroom and walked back to where the product boxes were kept; Kyoya was organized if nothing else. Picking out one of the thin doujinshi, she sighed, looking at the beautiful cover: one of the Hitachiin twins. A true classic.

The cover reflected their "homo" appeal, so she simply could not understand the low sales as she flipped through the book. The truth made her heart almost explode out of her chest. The doujinshi was page after page of "rabu rabu" all right, but not of the twins together! But rather of them with some random girls! Self-insertions! Renge could not believe what she was seeing. Checking the rest of the boxes, she growled venomously. Someone had ruined her visions. Someone would pay for that.

But, for the time being, Renge simply had to rid the Host Club of the abominations of her creative mind. Dragging box after box of doujinshi into the main room, she booted them all into the fireplace and set the pile ablaze. "Ah…the only thing self insertions are good for…" Renge murmured to herself, warming her hands with self-satisfaction as well as warmth from the flames. "But, now this means I will have to draw my own doujinshi…but will I be able to come up with a better product before Kyoya returns? He'll be pretty angry with me since…I just destroyed a huge investment…" she trailed off, hearing light scampering coming from outside of the large doors of the music room.

Peeking her head out of the doors, she felt the temperature drop as she came face to face with a figure draped in the stuff of nightmare and misery. And perhaps her best hope out of a rather sticky situation. "Neko-chan…" she said, grinning lightly.

Nekozawa was flustered by the cruelly cute nickname and the Kyoya-esque smirk. Even under his thick black robes, his already pale face flushed. "Its…Its Nekozawa-sama, Dark Prince of the Black Magic Club to you! Get it right!" he cried out, taking a step back. Renge made him incredibly nervous and that was saying quite a bit. Nothing normally got under Nekozawa's skin.

"I am in need of…assistance of the Black Magic Club…" She said softly, grinning as she grabbed a hold of Nekozawa's cloak and dragged him into the music room; Beelzenef crumbling onto the ground, discarded. Renge dragged Nekozawa into the room and tossed him onto the couch, grinning wickedly. "A certain…situation has arisen and it seems like you are just what I need to get out trouble with Kyoya," she said, holding up rope before descending on Nekozawa like a wolf on a lamb.

Before he realized it, Nekozawa was underground in Renge's secret lair. He trembled with fear, tied up and hanging from a hook, his cloak having slipped off of him in the confusion. Renge was looking up at him, her face half hidden with shadow. "You know…you remind me of…some of them," she said, reaching into a black bag she was holding. Scared for his life at the hands of such a maniacal woman, Nekozawa clenched his eyes tight, praying to Beelzenef to save him.

He opened his eyes only when the deathblow did not connect. In fact, Renge was not hitting him; she was applying make up onto him. He looked confused as her hands darted across his face applying various colors and toners before putting a black wig on his head and glasses on the bridge of his nose. "There! I'm all done, Neko-chan! Or…should I say, Kyoya! Now, I get to work!" She sang out, undoing Nekozawa's knots, allowing him to fall to the ground before turning on her heels and walking to a drawing table she had set up near by. Pressing a button, a lamp on her table turned on, as did several small lamps, making Nekozawa visible in the darkness. "Alright…I need you to pose, Neko-chan. Cool and Casual, alright? I'm going to start with Kyoya's doujinshi. I'm a pretty good artist, but I'm even better with a physical reference!"

Nekozawa was not even sure if Renge was speaking in a language he fully comprehended anymore. Why was he sitting in a strange room with make up on his face and a familiar looking wig on his head? He did not need glasses to see…so why? What was going on? "D…Doujin…shi?" he half-stuttered, confusion forcing him to speak.

"Yes. Doujinshi! Sordid little naughty comics. Now…take your jacket off and pose in a 'come hither' sort of way," she instructed, pencil and sketchbook ready.

Nekozawa gulped lightly, but did as he was told, just wanting to leave. Slipping out of his jacket, he shyly leaned against a nearby table. He was not even sure what a come hither look was.

Renge sighed lightly. "You…definitely are not Kyoya material…hm…maybe one of the Hitachiin twins…" she muttered, trailing off.

Nekozawa's face blotched red as he realized what Renge was doing him: using him as a model for the Ouran hosts. "I refuse to be a part of this!" he cried out, tossing away the wig and glasses. "I am not Kyoya or one of those impish twins! I am not Neko-chan! I am Umehito Nekozawa, the Dark Prince of the Black Magic Club! Do not underestimate me!" He stood there, panting, his shoulders rising and falling. His bottom lip trembled as his eyes threatened to well with tears.

Renge stood there, stupefied; the first time in a very long time. "Ne…Nekozawa-kun…" she whispered lightly, setting down her pencil, walking over to him. Reaching out, she took his trembling hands, his anger dissipating quickly. "Nekozawa-kun," she said, her voice so hushed it was almost a whisper, her head bowed. "Neko…zawa…kun…is utterly adorable! Why have I never seen this before?" Pushing him against the table, she practically ripped his shirt open, buttons flying across the room. "Like that! Just lie like that!" she commanded, running back to her table, returning with a camera, beginning to snap pictures of Nekozawa while he laid on the table, stunned and flustered, trying to hide away from the flashing camera.

"Renge, stop! Stop!" Nekozawa cried out, almost in pain at the light. "Stop!" he screamed out before throwing himself at Renge, both of them falling back, the camera landing a few feet away. "Renge…I told you…to stop…" he trailed off softly, pinning her to the ground, his slender hands holding onto her wrists, straddling her legs.

"Neko…zawa…?" Renge murmured lightly. They looked at each other, both panting; both had hearts beating quickly in their chests. Renge's heart fluttered, making it almost hard for her to breath. Nekozawa was looking down at her with his normally weakly worried expression, an expression that normally evaded Renge's interests. But, within such a close proximity…

"I…I'm sorry, Miss Renge…I don't know what got over me…" he murmured lightly, trying to move away. He hardly had time to cry out as Renge wrapped her arms around him and brought him close, crushing their lips together. Renge was, if nothing else, sure of what she wanted. And, at the moment, pressed so close to each other, Renge had pulled Nekozawa into her own imaginary world. It was the same imaginary world that had extended over the Host Club, trapping them all into Renge's glass palace. Nothing ever broke away.

Nekozawa lay against her, eyes widened with shock and surprise. And embarrassment. He had never kissed a girl before, much less like that. His heart felt like it threatened to rip out of his thin chest; it was beating and thumping so fast. He relaxed against her after the first few fleeting moments. Bringing a hand up, he rested it against her cheek and returned the kiss, shy and inexperienced in comparison to Renge's sheer gusto.

Almost as soon as it began, the kiss ended and the two pulled away from each other, just enough to look at each other. He panted softly and looked down at Renge. Maybe it would be all right for him to open up more. He had been in his own little world for far too long anyway. Maybe Renge would be the one to free him.

Renge was looking up, looking at Nekozawa, but it was not Nekozawa she was seeing. Her mind already wrapping him up in her own expectations: Nekozawa becoming who she wanted him to be. She was seeing her Nekozawa. And Nekozawa soon recognized the look.

It pained him to see that expression on her face. It pained him that he was not good enough for her. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe it was not yet time for him to leave his comfortable inner darkness. "I'm sorry…I can't do this…" he whispered. Almost melting away in the darkness, Nekozawa escaped Renge. Escaped Renge's imaginings. Escaped.

Renge sat on the cold floor even a half hour after Nekozawa's departure. Renge's eyes were wide in shock. He was gone. Someone had escaped her. How was that even possible? Clenching her teeth, Renge refused to cry despite her mounting frustration. Even as she sat there, the sound of cracking stone and glass reverberating in her eardrums. The pain from realization of reality sent a tightening pain through her chest. It would soon be midnight and the magic in Renge's mind would be over. Nekozawa's escape only proved the weakening hold Renge had over her own world. Renge did not want to be alone. Sitting there, she heard the bells toll through the empty Ouran Academy.

The next morning, Haruhi was late arriving to the music room. She had been running an errand for a teacher and had just found time to escape and run to her club meeting. Opening the door slowly, she was bombarded with excited screaming and high energy that could only mean that Kyoya had brought out some new merchandise. Finding the be-speckled Club Treasurer, she was relieved to see him in high spirits, counting money. The Hitachiin twins, however, looking a little less than amused. "Why are we the bad guys? This isn't fair! We're too cute to be evil!" The continued to complain, but Kyoya was lost in his money.

Now, Haruhi was confused. Looking around the clubroom, she saw what looked like magazines being passed around and sold. Tamaki was as happy as normal, Hunny enjoyed soaking up the attention and Mori stayed by his side, making sure Hunny did not get another cavity. Even the twins were pacified once several of their fans asked for their autographs, always having loved villains.

Now, she was curious. Finding one of the thin books, she flipped through them. Another doujinshi series? This one was different. It was super heroes. Tamaki, Mori, Hunny and a mysterious stranger and a familiar looking cat-like creature made up the team of heroes. Even Haruhi was included on their side, much to her chagrin. Kyoya, Kaoru and Hikaru made up the team of villains. It was a Host Club Sentai doujinshi; cheesy costumes, masks and one liners included.

Sitting down, she read through it, wondering why the girls were so much more excited than normal. Kaoru and Hikaru were together in the doujinshi, but that was staple by then. Mori and Hunny were together as lovers as well. Kyoya…and Tamaki? It was a little mismatched, but apparently some of the girls had been pushing for it for quite some time. Luckily, who ever commissioned the doujinshi left Haruhi without a love interest. It was not until the last page that she realized what had gotten the girls all worked up.

The mysterious stranger was unmasked and he was gorgeous. A womanly figure and face, beautiful large eyes and wispy blond hair. He looked oddly familiar. The girls all thought it was the Host Club's way of introducing a potential new host. "Hm," Haruhi thought aloud. "He looks oddly familiar. And that cat too…" she trailed off, the twins coming up behind her, grinning evilly. They were trying to remain in character now.

"It's Nekozawa," they said in unison, nodding their heads. "Kyoya's discussing with Renge the possibility of bringing Nekozawa into the club. The King's firmly against it…and so are we…but you know Kyoya…he's the Evil Lord of the Host Club. His word is law. But its weird…Kyoya doesn't recall ordering this new doujinshi…so it must be Renge's idea…"

Haruhi blinked a little bit, looking down at the romanticized image of Nekozawa. "Renge…and Nekozawa?"

Down below in the comfortable darkness of Renge's office, Kyoya and Renge were speaking in their business voices. Renge had a copy of the doujinshi in her hands; Kyoya watched her, irritation in his eyes.

"What do you mean you want Nekozawa to become a host? He is as anti-social as they get. Not to mention he hates the light. That is not going to work, Renge-kun."

Renge grinned. "It will if we give him his own space. He has a certain…vampire mystique around him. There is already a three hundred percent increase of sales of this particular doujinshi over the last one. It is because of Nekozawa's influence. Now…Kyoya…this is how this works. I come up with the ideas, you implement them and we both get to sit back and watch the money roll. Now…go and make it work, Kyoya," she said, sitting back comfortably in her chair.

Leaving her little office, Kyoya grumbled to himself. He liked money, but he hated being ordered around by Renge. The things he did for a few thousand yen.

Alone once more, Renge chuckled as she pulled out the photos from the previous night, looking through them before tossing them onto the table. She had been mistaken. Nekozawa had not escaped her. He had merely found a good place to hide. If there was one thing that Renge knew, it was that no one, absolutely no one, evaded her for long. Nekozawa would eventually be hers.

Sneezing lightly, Nekozawa shivered lightly as he looked around the shaded room of the Black Magic Club. "The magical forces must have been disturbed somehow," he mumbled softly as he went back to his incantations. A few moments passed before he heard the rustling of paper. Looking at the door, he saw a small envelope being slipped under, accompanied by the familiar sound of receding footsteps.

Walking over to the door slowly, he crouched down to pick up the small, unmarked envelope. Who would it have been from? Opening it, his heart sank, the temperature of the room sinking as well. It was from Kyoya, the Demon of the Host Club, no, of the entire Ouran Academy. It was a summons.

' Dear Umehito Nekozawa, You are cordially invited to join the prestigious ranks of the Ouran High school Host Club. If you are interested, please report to the Music Room anytime within the next week for an interview and training. Signed, Kyoya Ootori, Club Financial Planner.'

Gulping, he quickly tore the invitation. He would just ignore them all. He did not want to deal with any of them again. Nekozawa had just turned around when another envelope was slipped under the door. This one did not contain another invitation. It contained a picture of Beelzenef held at gunpoint. Screaming out in horror, Nekozawa just now realized that his precious Beelzenef was missing. Flipping the picture over, he read the post scriptural words.

'PS: If you tore up the invitation with the intention of ignoring my summons, you best think again. Please enjoy the decorative post card. Complimentary felt and ribbons to follow. Signed, Kyoya Ootori, Club Financial Planner.'

Nekozawa sighed as he walked to his large armchair, falling into it, exhausted. " I guess…I have no choice now. Maybe…I'll get to spend time with Renge…" he muttered to himself, smiling under his mantle before he could stop himself. Maybe black mail did not always lead to ruin.

Thinking back to the previous night with Renge's kidnapping and gross manipulation, he sighed. "Then again…maybe it does…"

**-END**


End file.
